You finally did it. You wrestled the toddler into a nap, ignored the pile of laundry on the couch, and carved out thirty minutes for yourself. You sit down to knit, paint, or write, ready for the stress to melt away. Ten minutes later, you want to snap your paintbrush in half.
We often chase hobbies to escape the chaos of motherhood. We want an identity outside of “Mom,” “Snack Dispenser,” or “Chauffeur.” But when that slice of personal time turns into a struggle, it feels like a betrayal. You didn’t sign up for more work. You signed up for fun. If your leisure time starts to frustrate you, you need a new strategy.
Stop Trying to Be an Expert
Social media ruins everything. You scroll through Instagram and see another mom who baked a sourdough loaf that looks like an artisan masterpiece. Meanwhile, your starter smells like old gym socks. We convince ourselves that if we aren’t good at something immediately, we are failing.
Forget that nonsense. You are a beginner. Beginners make messes. Beginners fail. If you expect perfection on day one, you set yourself up for rage. Allow yourself to be terrible at something. It’s actually quite liberating. Create an ugly painting. Knit a scarf with skipped stitches. Who cares? The goal is the process, not the product.
The Complexity Trap
Sometimes we pick the wrong activity for our current mental state. If your brain feels like mush after managing schedules, doctors’ appointments, and tantrums, you might not have the bandwidth for high-focus tasks.
Maybe you thought you wanted a technical challenge. But staring at tiny parts and troubleshooting your model trains might require a level of patience you currently lack. If a hobby requires you to squint, do math, or read a 50-page manual, and you slept four hours last night, put it away. Save the complex projects for a season of life when you aren’t functioning on dry shampoo and caffeine.
Pivot to Something Brainless
When the frustration hits, don’t force it. Pivot. You need a “low-stakes” hobby. This is an activity that requires zero brainpower and yields instant gratification. You keep your hands busy, but your mind can wander.
Consider these low-stress alternatives:
- Adult coloring books: You don’t even have to stay in the lines if you don’t want to.
- Weeding the garden: Rip things out of the ground. It’s excellent therapy for aggression.
- Listening to podcasts: Walk around the block and let adults talk in your ear.
- Collaging: Cut pictures out of magazines and glue them to paper. It’s messy and satisfying.
Remember Why You Started
You started this hobby to feel good. If your hobby stops feeling good, you have permission to stop doing it. You don’t have to finish the book if it’s boring. You don’t have to finish the quilt if you hate the pattern.
Put the frustrating project in a box. Label it “For Later.” Then, go do something that actually brings you joy. Your free time is too precious to spend it frowning at a pile of craft supplies.
Candid Mama
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